KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON 50 Ways To Handle Divorce

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  1. Don’t drag your children into the dispute with your wife
  2. 10 Ways to Protect Your Money and Your Credit Score in a Divorce
  3. Divorce Tips For Men: What To Do With The House?
  4. Divorce and Children with Special Needs

Would it be okay if you two connected? I just found this, and am so grateful that I did! Thanks, Special Needs Alliance! And also, if anyone reading this can help my Fiance and his son, please, we welcome your wisdom. You should go to court and get conservatorship. It will not give you full custody, but it will help when it comes to having control over the enormous issues and services you need for your son. I live in Florida so my comments pertain to our laws ect. You do not need an attorney if you cannot afford it. No one is going to work harder than you! Good luck. I am seeking full custody of my son with special needs.

The father is unstable, but may cause issues out of embarrassment he has already. Also, if the father one day realizes that he wants to reconsider the custody, is there anyway to prevent this from happening? Is there special verbiage that I can use in the agreement to protect my son? I am not seeking any child support as all of us other kids too just want him out of our lives without any strings attached.

Don’t drag your children into the dispute with your wife

I have two autistic twins 19 yrs. Their dad walked out of their lifes. Graduation nothin. He want help he blocked our numbers. Idk what to do. Hit bottom. I currently have custody of my son who is high functioning autistic. His mother walked out on us twice. We divorced almost a year ago. Now after a year of me trying to get her to co-parent and her fighting me all the way she has a need to show face to her family and new man. She is trying to get full custody of our son. No one including her sometimes is acknowledging what the change will do to him.

I give him structure and stability, consistency. All she thinks about is her wants. The IEP councilor even said it would be a bad idea to pull him from his current situation and school. I need help or a better way to get the lawyers or court to hear my pleas that this is not only a waste of time and money but it will destroy my son.

His welling is all I care about. If the court does the 1 to 1 then I will be strong enough to say no. I CANT do that to my son. After all the therapy, Brain Balance, special diet needs and ocular therapy it would kill him. I would give her the custody if the judge tries to force that.

I know its hard to believe but as a Dad that actually got custody which frankly, never happens in my state I am truly understanding how my new partner felt when she went through this. I understand now what all these woman are feeling. The struggles and feeling associated with divorce and special needs children. Links to go to? Hi , Jason I am in a similar situation. I would love to chat with you for some moral support , I think men like you are few and far between. My name is Melissa and I have two Autistic sons which I take care of on my own.

I would love to help anyway I can! My son is 21 Aspergers. I am getting a divorce and still need some financial help. Would it still be considered child support? I want him to keep in touch with dad so I can get a break. Would that be visitation?

10 Ways to Protect Your Money and Your Credit Score in a Divorce

Because he is over 21 and can come and go as he pleases I am not sure how to word it. Trying to divorce without an attorney. We are in agreement about everything so far. I have a similar situation! But we were using a mediator and the minute he signed the quadro to evaluate his pension! Very quickly he bought a brand new townhouse out of state! I have not lived with him for 11 years! He lives in another home he bought before we were married! He is a Control freak! He Has paid all my bills while I raised my child who is now a young adult working and about to drive!

I have given up the best 11 years of my life! He thinks I should sell my home and go live in the townhouse he bought out of state! Not in my name! More control! He has more than I know of. My child is turning 21 years old in December Down Syndrome. His father lives in NY and I live in California. Together we have two children, our youngest is 18 years old. I moved from NY when the boys were 2 and 4 years old and almost every year since I moved from NY to CA I have traveled back to visit family and every single visit the father has picked up our youngest son but not our oldest.

He once said that it was too hard for him to handle. He completely washed his hands from our son when we split. I would like some help in pursuing the child support. I feel its only fair that he continues to pay for our oldest son. I suggest that you contact a Special Needs Alliance member attorney for advice. I need help on this…my son has special needs from a auto accident 18 years ago….

I am appointing myself as guardian over him…. I need help!!!! I need help. My son is 8 and has high functioning autism. His dad and are divorced. The process took almost 3 years in which I never received child support for my son and he visited him just twice both times days before a court date. I took time to prepare myself but I guess I failed to do things right. The only two times he has came to my pick my son up has been a disaster. I went to pick him up first time in the morning.

The second time my ex came forced him again even thought I have repeatedly begged him to go on my son pace and not force things because of the stress and the behavior damage that these episodes have on my son. So he came and picked him up and once again my son refused to go but he pushed him. Then when they left and he took the highway my son tried to jump out of the car and had a horrible meltdown.

The judge in the final judgement ordered me to take my son to have another autism screening which I did and it obviously proved my son does have autism. My friend is getting a divorce and has cared for his disabled adult daughter as much as the mother. The mother has legal guardianship and tells him if he divorces her she will take all his assets and never let him see the adult child again..

Is this possible? I have a 20 year old severely disabled daughter and my ex wants to start paying support to her through a special needs trust. What he pays gets spent every month. How will this work if you have to have a certain balance and what kind of headache will it become to access it and now account for every penny spent? My Husband has an austistic son who is He works two days a week and collects disability. His mother whom he resides has done little to help with his social anxiety.

Courts ordered my husband to pay monies for him. She was told to get him help to learn how to do things on his own she did for a minute. Why is it he can work two days a week collect disability tell his mom no groups no counseling and my husband has to pay? I have seen down syndrome people working at places like McDonalds why is he so special. We barely make it. He was also ordered to pay part of his 23 yo college fund after 4 yrs of not paying there was an agreement between him and ex and that changed too as soon as he took her to court for immamcipation.

She has turned his family on him his kids messes with visitation and gets away with it all. Can you please help with this. This is so unfair. My son is 6 and has Down Syndrome. I live in NE and his father lives in MO, a three hour trip there and back. My son has activities and school, which I would like for him to continue as it is good for him in many ways. His father is in denial when it comes to his Disability. Could you help or do you have any suggestions? Thank you. I have had custody of my daughter since birth. Divorced her mom when she was 13 and got physical placement ast she 18 her mother went for custody.

Many daughter got a guardian ad litem who did no research and passed along to the judge a third party who is now her guardian. My daughter still lives with me and now I have to watch this person tell me what is going to happen with my child and all her job is to put her in a home. I agree she should go into a home where there are kids her age she can grow with at the right time after she graduates and traditions and is ready.

What can I do? Do I have any rights at all anymore? Lord help me Ken, I may be in a similar circumstance.

3 Tips After Your Spouse Files For Divorce

Can a judge force joint guardianship of a special needs adult? My daughter has lived with me her whole life. Her dad is about himself…. We were joint conservators after the divorce. For 10 years he has been vacation. Every other weekend and a couple of short visits during the week. I want him to see her but I do not think it is fair to an adult to keep that schedule forever… she should be allowwd to grow up, get a job if possible, and have her own life.

We have worked with him on everything up to now. There were issues but we never made a big deal of them because I knew it was temporary. Is it possible to appoint both if they are not both in agreement to start with? She divorced a year ago, thinking she had sole physical custody. At the time, she was living here in St. Joseph, MO, where I live so I could help. Her alcoholic husband, who lives in Omaha, was picking up the girls drunk at the halfway point. So Sarah now lives in Omaha actually Papillion. But, she has joint custody. Her attorney here in St.

Joe had her sign the docs, telling her nothing had changed. If he gets another one, that will be enough to throw this out of court. Getting divorced, mom moved out the house and left with a son with autism and a 21 year old daughter with schizophrenia and currently I am her conservator after being found gravely disabled beyond a reasonable doubt. I am at the family home and I am paying all the bills, including the mortgage and all.

Mom takes her paycheck and provides zero support to the kids. I know that under California law parents have an obligation to support their disabled children. My daughter is very impacted with her mental condition and requires constant supervision and medication monitoring. She goes to the hospital at least 2 times a year due to psychotic episodes. They need these benefits. My health is not good, I had kidney failure last year and currently have moderate chronic kidney disease probably with a year or two before dialysis is starts.

I also have other chronic health conditions. We try and do everything we can to see them. We beg to keep them over night. We beg for more hours. We have papers already so we can see them. Now that he has been on a regular over night and daily visits with us she found out he was high functioning autism. Now, we no longer can have them for more than 4 hours.

Nor, keep them over night because it is out of his normal routine. We have never seen him throw a tantrum or have night mares or anything to affect his normal behavior. Is this legally right? Is it good for his health to actually not stay the night with us? What should we do?? I have a daughter who has type I diabetes and was recently diagnosed with JIA which can potentialy be a crippling disease.

She has so many doctor appointments and the father refuses to help. I hsve 5 other kids and work full time. We had mediation on Monday and we have court set for August What are the laws to make him help with her? Are there any? I had primary physical custody for 17 yrs, relinquished custody to dad so that moderately cognitively impaired daughter could complete senior year at HS. I moved about 35 mins.

Arrangement was supposed to be temporary however Dad now refuses to relinquish physical custody so that daughter may start post-secondary program and live with me. Program vetted by both of us. He is most definitely motivated by the receipt of support payments. Please help!!! Jennifer, I am a mom of an autistic son having a trial in Middlesex County in about one week. Can you send me a message on Facebook reminding me who you are …. My son and daughter in law live in my husbands and my home. They have twin sons one of which has autism. My husband and I have helped the both in almost every way we have bought the boys school clothes, coats and shoes, whatever they needed we helped them with.

After 15 yrs of marriage they are looking to divorce. She is not the best mother she will make food for our autistic grandson which is only grilled cheese sandwiches or chicken nuggets but we cooked two days a week and her father brought over pizza one day a week. She did not cook the other days. My son would cook the other 2 days before he would go to work. Weekends we usually bought them take out. When they decided to end their marriage they have not done so yet she was going to move out and give prime custody to my son and only see the boys every other weekend.

She had also suggested that they split the boys and leave her autistic son with my son and she would take the other boy. The law states in NY that the mother can stay in the home that the austic child is comfortable in and the husband must leave. Once she found this out she now wants to stay in my home and have my son pay for everything.

My husband and I are 65 yrs old and our sons helps us when needed. She does nothing to help maintain the house or yard. Do as homeowners have any rights in this matter? My daughter in law does not want these boys she just does not want to pay any out of pocket expence on her end. She has custody without the courts involved and he has agreed to this with one day a week for 2hrs. The problem is he wants more time but does not believe that the child has special needs and does not take care of him properly.

If she goes to court will he be granted more time? Her fear is this and that we cannot prove that he will be taken care of properly. I live in NY and have been divorced for 11 years. My special needs son is now Could someone please help me with a complicated domestic relations issue? This was all a scam. I could have gotten lifetime alimony but I was assured that I would be able to return to my lucrative career.

He stop paying child support May I was in a very verbally and emotionally abuse marriage for 13 years. He did what he wanted. I am barely holding on to my townhouse and feed my son. I want to focus on file a domestic relations case in the County we both have been living in for the past five years. He also bought him a winter coat. These are the only things that he has provided for his son in seven years. I and my parents, have been able to pull it off. Start by Filing an order of child support modification in the county where your divorce took place. I am the custodial parent of a beautiful 18 year old who is wheel chair bound and physically not mentally disabled child.

The day she turned 18 the father called and stopped child support and has not paid dime after. He provides healthcare for my child but when asking to change her name for it to match medicaid he said I needed to choose his insurance or medicaid. He has not seen this child since she was 6 he does not understand the care and unending attention is needed for her. I want to file a motion so she is provided for and I with a family of my own cannot even return back to school to finish my career goal due to extensive care needed for her.

He does make way more than I do and could provide for her while I take care of her. He refuses to pay anything even existing bills for he has refused to pay. I am at wits end and want to do something but all I read is that I should have before she turned I applied for disabiltiy the monday after she turned 18 and as of this date she still doesnt recieve any monetary benefits. If you can advise me what is best it would be much appreciated. I also have a disabled adult daughter 22yrs old. When she turned 18 I filed for a child support extension which is good for 3 yrs.

Also, she gets Medicaid united healthcare which I had to get documents signed by her dr saying that shes still disabled and needs in home healthcare. It took 6 long months but then I was approved to become her paid caretaker! So please look into that asap so u can get paid for doing what you add already do! Now I need to find out how to file for an extension since my ten yrs is up. I hope that helped! We are on a good turn with my husband but not sure how does it work with specil need child what to expect…maybe you know good attorney in Michigan…. Hi Kathy you know ohio has grant funded ABA therapy.

There is an Autism Center called Sail in Ohio near toledo you pay nothing you just have to live there its on the border of Michigan. I informed her dad he needs to be more invovled , and he says nothing he can do …. Plz I need your help regarding this matter!

I have a special needs son, he has severe brain damage, legally blind and has cp, he has been with me since he came home from the nicu and he has seizure disorder, i am goin through a divorce with his father and his father put in the divorce papers that he wants him, and he has never seen him or nothing and his father already has a new fiance any help, all my son knows is his mama and he is 24 hour care round the clock he eats every two hours and he has alot of care he needs that his father knows nothing about.

My child we will call Sid lived with me for 16 years of life. Dad had spent 15 years having fun, lending no emotional, moral, physical, financial support to Sid. Fast forward. Needless to say, Sid came to stay with me. Last week they asked Sid to agree to pay for his phone plan with them Sid agreed. Today they received the papers for revocation of conservatorship. If your situation has not yet been resolved: you should report this situation to the fraud unit of IHSS immediately. Their fraud hotline number is Good luck!

Your a hood mom. I hope you got every nickel of sids money back from that idiot. I need help!!! I just found out that my ex husband is receiving IHSS hours to take care of my son. My son lives with me and seeds a few hours with his dad after school. I already reported to the Medical Fraud and they are taking for ever. My son has multiple disabilities and my mother is the one that takes care of him and my ex is claiming those hours as he was working.

Any one that could assist me, I would really appreciate it. Martha, if your situation has not yet been resolved: you should report this situation to the fraud unit of IHSS immediately. Hello, my son is 8 years old and has Down Syndrome. I also have a 5 year old daughter and my husband and I are in the beginning stages of a divorce or separation. Either way I need help with trying to figure out about divorce and financially caring for my special needs child and my daughter. Any help will be greatly appreciated. My mom has not seen her son in over 9 years he has cerebral palsy.

Our dad has custody. My mom has tried over and over just to talk to him. She misses him so much. I have a question about my special needs son and my pending divorce and custody. I am and always have been the primary breadwinner and caregiver to my boys. Dad has a sometimes construction job, no benefits, no retirement, etc. I have put every penny into my retirement because my son will need care as an adult, housing, etc. My mildly autistic son just turned Its toxic between ex wife and I yet I have tried to create dialogue for nbregads to what life will be like when son turns No response.

Ex spouse does communicate regarding dr. She wants guardianship of my son….. I was going to file for guardianship but she beat me to it. Does anybody have any suggestions on how I can perhaps turn the tide? This is do unfair. I have a 10 year old daughter with Williams syndrome.

Her father is not upholding his end of the custody arrangement and will be at least 10 days short of his 98 days this year. He will not be able to make them up and I gave him a chance to make up at least a few and he declined that chance. Well then I will be dropping her off at 4 pm not 8 pm on Sundays from now on. He never alerts me to problems, he has no part in her schooling, health care of anything, he barely asks. He complains about the 4 weeks during summer and spring and fall break which are necessary for him to get his time in.

He asks me to help him do his taxes, do his papers for work, and many other things. I have helped in the past but no more. I am tired of being screwed over and I am more tired of watching my baby be hurt by him. He could lose his job. Abby gets SSI which will cover his support but something needs to be done to wake him up.

I am tired of doing it all and he only pays 71 a week in support. He makes more than me and pays a month towards a house his dad owns. Nothing else. I pay rent and utilities and for phone and internet. And I barely make a month between support, SSI and my income. I work from home so I can be at home with her as much as possible. He never pays for anything other than support. She is the mother of my boyfriends half-sister so I know her and I was mortified.

What are my options???? I need someone who is very well-versed in child custody laws. I actually found out today after talking to him for the first time in 11 months, since the day he left that the reason he abandoned me and the kids is that he wanted to have a normal family and hated me for having disabled children. When my ex is granted full guardianship, am I still required to pay child support? My special needs daughter turned 18 last September My divorce settlement obligates me to child support for her till she graduates from high school up to age 20 which ever occurs first.

After my daughter turned 18, my ex filed for full guardianship and conservatorship of my daughter. Doing this strips me of my rights per the divorce settlement e. I am told my ex will have total control of my daughter and can refuse visitation if my ex does not want her to visit me. I have disabled children by my current marriage. As a result my disabled children are suffering. The court said I should have thought about that before remarrying and having more kids. I asjked what about responsibilty to my kids?

The judge adjourned the hearing. Hi, I am not divorced with my spouse yet but we are living separately for the past 5 yrs. But still now i do not hold access to my child, nor a contact he completely ignored me. My special-needs son medium-functioning autism, epilepsy just turned His dad and I became his legal guardians shortly before he turned I have been a stay-at-home mother for 30 years and have trusted my husband to take care of the finances and save.

Colossal mistake. Now my marriage is falling apart, and I am learning that he has not provided for us in the way he claims. We are not penniless, but I do not think he has set up resources properly for the long-term care of our son. Where in the world do I even start? Hi, unfortunately during my divorce I could not get the small town attorneys to address my daughter separate from her brothers. We incur thousands in medical bills each year, my ex is saying I am the reason she is so expensive. He said since I am remarried he can not afford 35 percent and not paying.

He went on to tell me if I talk him tho court he could lose his job. Small town USA, in tennessee attorney says it will cost me more in court then I will get him to pay. Any suggestions… he owes around for this year and still last year. I draw social security spousal benefits for caring for my disabled adult son. If my husband and I divorce, will I lose the spousal benefit? I am in the middle of a divorce with 3 kids school age.

Did this right after we invested in a power wheelchair for our son. We where going to put a carrier on the back of our van but realized it was too heavy for the van. Now I need a wheelchair accessible van as well.

I am working but I just work at the school as a special ed. But I needed to get a job that I would be able to be home when he is home. I need someone to contact me about my divorce. My wife filed for divorce while I was deployed in Afghanistan. Wee have 2 minor children one that is special needs. She posted on Facebook that we were getting divorced and that she had started seeing someone.

I have been informed by my children that she had him staying in my Houser while I was gone also. I need help now and fast. I have a 21 year old son with Down Syndrome and severe Autism. His day care told his mother guardian he needs a doctor and help. She did nothing. He received an injury during this period that she refuses to tell me about. Moving truck out front. Does IHSS income count when it comes to child support and alimony? I just got approved while gowing through divorce. My ex husband and I divorced when our son was 4.

Our son is now We just had him re-tested this year and he is ASD. While we have joint custody, I have been his primary residence the past 8 years. We have made little progress with getting our son on track and I am burnt out. I can no longer effectively parent him as I have sustained much mental and emotional abuse from our son. We are trying to receive services to support us with our son, however, until opportunity presents itself to place him, we are having trouble keeping him in either home as he has our homes turned upside down.

Any way to get more emotional, Respite or placement support? My soon has learning difficulties and sustained a brain injury as a baby. I was no longer able to look aftter my son and his dad became his carer. I have still got anxiety and flashbacks every day but I feel I could have him again. I just want him to get better.

Hello, Looking for help. My friend lives in the North shore in Massachusetts. Due to his career being a traveling one and mine being the opposite, I had stopped working shortly after our marriage so that we could have children. We lived in Washington when we divorced and filed our papers at the Superior Court in our county. In the divorce, he was ordered to pay child support for each child until they are 18 years old and alimony to me for life or until I remarry.

The child support is also based on his wage, but can be raised if his income increases. He was agreeable to all of this and only met with an attorney a couple times to make sure he was not getting screwed.

Divorce Tips For Men: What To Do With The House?

If your husband is not so agreeable and hires an attorney to fight against alimony, then you will need to get a good attorney to fight for you. Good news is that if he is the sole income earner, he will have to pay his attorney fees and yours. No Donna. If she remarried she gets nothing.

What if the wife had been married to the military spouse for ten years and he divorced her and remarried someone else? Then some years later she remarried, is she still entitled to a portion of his pension? If you were awarded part of the pension and you filed the necessary paperwork with the military, then you will receive a portion of his pension. I married a man that was married 32 years. Meanwhile she galavants around visiting all her children.

My husband passed a yr ago. We have 17 yr old together and he receives survivor benefits. He was only 49 and we were married 18 yrs. I would give anything to have my husband back and i just want to say if a marriage can make a 10 yr mark then , unless there is abuse y not make it another 10 and so on? Despite our ups and downs i think at the 10 yr mark was when i disliked my husband the most but unconditionally loved him more. I wish i had another 10 yrs!

I live in WA. Got divorced in They cost more, but the pay off is well worth the protection! He either made more money, or paid in much longer. Allow me to explain. Then they will minus your disability. Disability is usually lower than retired Social security. Did the spouse go to war and get shot at?

I agree!! AMEN to that.!! I married a drunk and he got half my k. You get off your ass and work for it too. I see it all the time. My girlfriends taking there ex husbands k while they could of been out there working and contribute to the k also. I work 40 to 50 hours and save in k and raise children. Get a job. Bitter much? Go to therapy to help you but women and men BOTH make sacrifices to be married. If you get a lawyer, it will be fair. Stay at home wives DO work for their husbands. They are housekeepers, bookkeepers, chauffeurs, personal assistants, therapists, advisors and confidants.

When the marriage breaks down, it essentially dissolves their contracts. Severance pay is usually given with the dissolving of any major contract. Could of not said it any better!! In many states a property that is in both names is considered to belong to both of you, though he made have a separate property claim against it. Talk to an attorney about this to find out how that works in your state. Oh how I wish that was true. Both of us have bad physical difficulties. In fact only difference he had small stroke cause he would not take his blood pressure medicine.

No lingering disabilities. He did work some outside home but not last 20 years. He washes dishes and does laundry but not more. I work 50 hours a week, pay all the bills, do the shopping, do all of the heavy cleaning, make all dr. For this I take crap everyday. So not always the one staying home doing most of the work at home. Til the day he attacked me strangling me and slamming me against the car window with my two little girls crying daddy stop.

We had cops waiting at home for him people called on the road. He went to crisis X5 Gets out his phone is going crazy he says tell this girl stop calling me.

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Yup seems mental hospital groups are the new pick up place wow. I told him get out!! And my life from there would never be the same. Six months goes we got divorced constantly rude. Then he got ssdi my girls are worth money. So now I have some new friends child services and as soon as the case closes he calls another. And if he can find a reason to call the cops there at my door. But soon my worse nightmare I find my special needs son about to sexually abuse my daughter a sight I will never get out.

OMG the monster gets my kids. Well fast forward five years those three girls are abused physicrlly and mentally and he has ruined me financially and emotiohally he told everyone I gave them up for drugs and more screwed me out of 40k of our divorce but got 12k judgemynt put on me so my ssdi back pay he gets it all. And I found out I have a 33, And I sit bedriidden with multiple sclerocis.

What have I ended up with after 10 years? I loved him. He lied to me and went ahead and spent large sums of money behind my back, I was the recipient of his verbal and emotional abuse. He only pushed me around a few times and punched walls but never hit me. So it never came to physical abuse but only because I repeatedly told him if he touches me with even a finger I go to his platoon sergeant or his senior.

Because he knew I was serious and his carrier was number one for him that held him back from physical abuse this is about the brightest part. He left me several times throughout the years than cried himself back to me promising me all the stars and the moon and yes, I believed him. So yes, I do feel entitled to half his retirement fund and some!

Feel sorry for her too. Yeah I have to say this article disgusts me and is wrong on so many levels. Here I am in a rocky 7 year marriage looking to see if divorce is an answer I should result to or stick thru it and work at tryING to get it better. Separation time still counts as being married But even in the state of wa it at least helps separate final responsibilities. How do I find out if he has retired from active duty? I am He is Thank you for any help you can provide.

Actually in CA whoever earns more money is the one who ends up paying alimony. I live in Louisville,KY. Married in , we divorced in Am I eligible for a share of his income? He still lives large. If your divorce agreement provided for you to receive support, then you are eligible to receive it. If the agreement did not provide for support at that time, but said that the support issue could be reconsidered in the future, then you can request support now. If the agreement said that neither of you would ever get support from the other, then you cannot.

Does the law federally supercede an illegal agreement? Were married about 13 years. Nothing that is written in your divorce decree will affect your right to claim social security benefits. Social security is by operation of federal law and a state agreement does not affect that. My gosh, honey, reading this sounded exactly what I would have wrote!

Have you found out any facts about your wonderfully asked questions? I know people with Cancer who work. It just seems that wives who stopped working divorce someone and then take their former husband for a ride in California. I went to College, and had work breaks, but I fund people who cane the system, and they are White U. Citizens, not Hispanic residents!! Can she do this? I guess she can do it — she did it. But whether it was legal is another question. It depends on the laws of your state and how those payments are treated.

No, there is no year law. In many states a spouse has a right to some of the assets by law. Check with an attorney who knows the laws of your state. You should consult an attorney who can advise you on what your state laws allow regarding property division. If the house was acquired by both of you during the marriage, he may be able to buy you out of your share of the house, or vice versa. Otherwise, the house would be sold. Hi, my mom has been married to my dad for over 45 years. We are in Virginia.

If she holds title in her name alone, then it will not be a part of his estate. If she holds it jointly with him in some other form, it may need to go through probate, though your state may have a simplified probate procedure for successor spouses. This topic strikes a major nerve in me. First things first, is your readership made up of a bunch o illiterate individuals? Their writing is absolutely horrendous.

Dismiss all the women asking questions about getting their fair share whom have kids with their soon to be ex spouses. That leaves the rest. Then break those down to the women trying to get to the ten year mark, what a joke. The men in these situations were the idiots for not protecting themselves with a prenup. That window closed when my mom died as I would have done it because it was one of her last wishes in life to see. Great reading for 5 minutes, or maybe not. And thanks again for reminding how vindictive women can get when love turns south, after ony 10 sorry years!!

Alimony is in accordance with the laws of your state, so consult with an attorney to find out how it works in your state and the procedure for securing it. In some jurisdictions, there is a facilitator at the courthouse who can help you with the paperwork. Her ex made good money.. So I inquired about can the Alimony agreement be changed? In fact the judge jumped on it…So there is hope sometimes… Just wanted to put that out there….. Good luck to all you Ladies… Remember where there is a will, there is way.. We got it you have fibro.

But instead of looking for your ex to pay you alimony for the rest of your life how about you grow up stop feeling sorry for yourself and try and find a job that pays more than a month and try and take care of your own self. You must be a resentful, scorned ex husband whose wife took him for everything. If this is the case… Good for her with your attitude!!! Kandy, depending on which state you live in and their laws you could possibly receive alimony for life with a disability such as yours. I agree with Mr.

The overwhelming incidence in females and attendant cross-comorbidities with mental illness is very curious, indeed. If she can fix a meal and watch T. She can obviously work a computer keyboard quite well as evidenced from this thread. In case she missed the memo, lots of folks make a living working the keyboard these days. Instead of devoting so much time trying to plot the ex into financial ruin which must take an incredible amount of negative energy , why not stop working the system so hard and, actually, well…WORK for real?

By the way, not all of us are disgruntled men who got taken to the cleaners. They should make us, collectively, nauseated. For some reason, women seem to be particularly clever at this game-but the game is changing and men are learning. I know that. Thousands of successful AND disabled women also know that. Do you? Excellent reply. I am a MOM of 3 adult kids, whose husband died while they were teenagers. I got virtually nothing from Soc.

No insurance, no savings or investments. I was on my own with 3 dependents. I went to work. I heard many derogatory remarks from male drivers, and I heard many of them complain about their wives, or that they had to pay child support. It was hard work, and I was alone. And I missed my kids. I was proud of my family. What we did, we did without a handout. Now I am married to a man who must pay lifetime alimony to a woman with whom he had no children. His ex had multiple affairs during their marriage, and is on disability.

In fact, the way she harasses my husband, we think she would make an excellent bill collector. Beyond all of this, she has implied that I should be helping to pay her alimony. I had nothing to do with her failed marriage. So why am I liable for her alimony? Why is either of us indebted to her? This is wrong! She refused to even try to work while they were together. S Anderson For your information, it is not equal. Men still make more doing the same job as women. Women are expected to take care of the house plus work.

You men are the complainers. I totally agree. My boyfriend is going through a divorce and his wife had her previous employer who happens to be her doctor state she is totally disabled. She has been terminated after 19 years of employment and SSD is pending. Highly unlikely she will receive SSD because she is asble body and not totally disabled. She has exaggerated her symptoms. He now has to pay alimony until trial. She is lazy. You ignoramus, arrogant, full of yourself, self made S. Widespread body pain…. How do I know? Because I have had it since Along with it, I also have arthritis, bursitis, costocondritis, degenerative disks from my neck, and my whole spine!

I have not worked since At the time I was 50 years old, almost unheard of to get on disability. Also, it can be hereditary. I have a first Cousin who was accepted for disability a month after seeing her Dr. We are not sure how many other family members may have had fibro, they are deceased. Read about fibro, inform yourself, and pray to God you, your child, or anyone you know is not diagnosed with this.

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  8. Hi Fibromite, I agree I also have fibro, ddd, djd, osteo, rheumatoid, and a pinched nerve. I had since my early twenties. I am now in my early fifties. I wish people could really experience what I have gone thru in my life. All to be so called normal. I am still pushing to survive, to happy and productive when allowed. God is good. I have Fibrmyalgia and it really hurts when it is acting up. You spend one day with a flare up and most men will call in sick. It is usually caused by continued abuse.

    Hmmm, wonder who would have done that. Believe me when I can leave my husband who sounds just like you I am out. Your an ignorant idiot. Women who have dropped out of the workforce, can not usually go back after 10 years and make a livable wage. Suck it up loser. You should have stayed single, been lonely and taken care of yourself! Entitlement mentality at its worst. FYI, I brought home the bacon, cooked it, did the dishes, and then the laundry, raised a child while She was off in her own internet world, spending thousands on crap… and then she met a fella.

    Im still paying her way 3 years later, and living in the same house. By the time I actually recieve a decree, I will be ruined in every way. But thats okay, because I am an evil producer of honest goods and or sevices, and was horribly responsible. Got exactly what I deserve. This country is cooked a dozen diferent ways, this is just one of them.

    Lets give the people who should be run out of town, more rights than the people who make the town run. Entitlement mentality is NOT just in women. I am a female, worked most of my working years in ,non-traditional jobs,. I have loved most of the men I have worked with as my own brothers. I am livid. Bad choice. It cuts both ways! It comes down to the integrity of the individual. It boils down to what a person learns from where they have been. I was engaged three times after my divorce. And I actually was. I Forced myself to ask the hard questions…If my back is against the wall…where will they be?

    Every time…I learned I was on my own. I however, had sacrificed my money, my time, my resources for them when their backs were against the wall. Learn from YOUR mistakes in your choices. Choose better next time. Ask yourself …why did I choose that kind of person in the first place? How do I avoid them in the future? Choose better! LOOK for something different. See the WHOLE picture…that includes knowing what kind of person you really want in your life …at the end of it. John Adams, I feel sorry for you.

    Not all women are not the same and I worked and supported our 3 children while my husband was out of work after he left the Military honorable discharged of course. A lot of you get what you deserve. Guys should be more careful in the women they choose instead of always blaming the woman for taking everything you have, blame yourself for getting involved with such a person.

    Not all Women are bad people. You lack many things on to many levels, that I know with excellent reason. Your head so far up your ass you missed the fact that your mother is women! I bet your mothers proud. Apparently John you do not know ALL women. I have been working sunce I wss I have 3 children from 1st husband eho divorced after 12 years and he brought his pregnant girlfriend to our hometown. I got divorced he paid nothing. It was not worth the fight. In fact I even paid all legal fees. Fadt forward 30 years of marriage to husband 2, I work and do everything.

    By standards set in this column I should be collecting disability as I have had broken back repaired 3 levels, cervical fusion and knee surgery from years after being hit by drunk driver no insurance so no settlements. Been paying my way always. Stop drinking the koolaid there are idiots and bad partners in both genders. In fact I am also working on building business for retirement while husband sits and complains. Get some legal advice on this issue. If the aunt holding the power of attorney is deceased, then she no longer has power over the asset. If it is a different aunt who holds power, then she is probably bound to a fiduciary standard to act in the best interests of the beneficiaries.

    John got the best advice, getting married is the worst thing a guy could do. When you have met someone you love,give it time to see how you both feel in 6 months. Do they get along,have anything in common with each other? Your interest, her interest. Some of the same,none of the same? Expensive to rent your own apt. Save to buy a home. Discuss if you want children.

    More fights in marriage today than any other subject. I believe you can marry from on and be happy if you just talk out your real feelings before that walk down the aisle. The So called women that damage weak boys like you were screwed over by one of your home boyz or better yet Adams dad who taught his son how he disrespected the woman that gave him Life. THERE are just as many guys out there that are looking for a mommy free ride so they can sit on there ass as there is women. I had one. Marriage to me is a license to steal. To them. Blood suckers.

    Want want want. Your dad was right. He did got married and made you. A pathetic example of human being. Sorry for your Mom, I can only imagine what she had to put up with. And the women who can be rented, deserve you! You make me feel sick. It sounds to me as though you have a disability and should be seeking help from Social Security Disability. You ought to be ashame of your answer. In till u walk in her shoes u should really hv a little compassion to what she and others with these conditions go through. May God bless you and keep you in good health.

    I have fibromyalgia andI tried to work as long as I could with it I also have corporal tunnel syndrome and buldging disc in my neck which has left me with severe anxiety and depression because I no longer can perform my job and some days I cant function to get out of bed so I know how she may feel.

    Its not a good feeling. It has nothing to do with what she deserves with alimony pay she earned her money. If you want to say I lied to a Dr to get on SS I made more when I worked I was a better pwrson and my life sucks work was my sanity place I miss working so bad. Keep your mean opinions about fibro not being real to urself because I would love for you to trade bodies with me and take my pain for me!!!!!

    I have kept silent while reading these comments for an hour. I hear much confusion, bitterness and opinions shared about disabilities and working for your money, verses not. My story: I worked much of my life and married second time with 2 boys and owning paid for completely 20 years a med size home in Calif. I worked full time, great benefits— my life until when I fell on the ice, then a few days later a car hit my car causing an accident.

    I got no money for the accident because nothing could be proved. It took many doctors 7 years to find I had cracked my back L5S1 5 inches wide. Tons of pain, shaking, lack of sleep and yet I continued to see more Dr. For a couple of years we also made good on 2 real estate investments during this time. My back injury was discovered when I threatened to jump out of a 6 floor window if my Dr. My Dr. The Dr. I learned to stand up for myself if nothing else.

    The next year I fractured a hip and broke my foot. I was just walking along and bam. The next year the Dr. Plus I now had severe carpel tunnel both wrist, fibromynalsia, and a few other things. Well I did go back to work and the only offer I got I took. I last 9 months before injuring myself. I moved to AZ from Texas to be close to my kids and found a job that suited my physical abilities another 5 years until I reached aged The last year I cont to work full time with the other hip completely broken but not enough money for surgery thank you OBama. My now ex husband went home to Calif and back to old his job making great money with his sister and brother-in-laws million dollar construction business.

    I did not ask for any money or a thing from him. I think I qualify to state Fibromynalsia is very painful. So can life be. Only let the people in your lives who will do the same. And most of all, seek God, for with him all things are possible. I find your posted response offensive and clearly sexist. Stacy, You are entitled to it and even in divorce he may not like it or now agree with it but he is responsible for providing for you and your well being. And the man who vowed to be your husband, he only has himself to kick in the ass for that.

    Should not jump to conclusions. We do not know if her income is from working or SSD. It changes the whole situation. You have no idea about fibromyalgia. You need to educate yourself more. I have had this since in my early twenties, I am now in my early fifties and I still have it. I have worked when I can and continue to do so. I LOVE myself even when not able to care for myself. It is only GOD who has carried me thru.

    You need help, you have no compassion, and every woman and man is not the same. You need to forgive so that you can heal, I feel sorry for you. This site is disgusting and makes women look really bad…. I have been divorced more than 10 years; however, his retirement was not mentioned in any way in our decree nor was a real property given to me by my parents after I was married.

    Years went by and he did nothing. When he remarried, I told our daughters the family property now belonged to me, their father and his new wife. After they talked to him, he signed his portion over to the girls. Now the land is one half mine and each daughter has one quarter. I would like to know if I am still entitled to a portion of his retirement?

    I was married for 33 years to a man, who married some broad in FL, they have no kids, I had two. She is a good earner and I am for sure totally disabled. I am in Ohio and supposed to be paid for life. Does anyone know the laws of either state? She alone, even owns thier house, I believe and is on marriage number 4 now. You can apply for divorced spouse benefits once you are both at least If you apply before you are 66, you will receive reduced benefits. As for support, if he was ordered by the court to pay support, or you filed a decree in which it said he would, then you should take steps to enforce that provision of your decree.

    Social Security is a federal institution, and it works. Make sure you get it, from my experience, ALL men are totally incapable of living their own lives without a wife. They are generally cowards, egocentric, if not totally narcissistic, and pigs, actually. We do everything, we are stronger, we have the babies, right? Because we have strength, and that includes character. I put myself thru college, my parents were gone before I was 30, I had my 2 little boys, owned 2 homes. Any man out there who can do that on his own?

    I have been encouraged to look harder for some assistance, I need a lawyer. My husband took the money, I have M.

    Divorce and Children with Special Needs

    So the one with the cash wins right? Well, that will not happen. Hello, my name is Rhonda. My husband and I have been happily married for 16yrs. Older then me but in great physical health. When we met, I had my 1yr. We married 6 months later and have been a family filled with love and devotion.

    They were much older and grown living in New Hampshire their whole lives. I met his kids one time 8 years ago when my husband had a stroke. They came down and took him from us. And after his recovery he rushed home to us, frustrated about how his kids handled the situation taking him from us.

    Well, as the years went by, he had mentioned that we needed to switch my name over as his POA. Last month, he sufferedanother stroke. They kept him for observation that day. The next morning I called to speak with him and he had been moved to ICU. He took a turn for the worst. He was incoherent. Second day still no change. Third day I call to check if there were any changes and guess what?

    I was devastated and tried to stand up to them once I got to the hospital. But apparently whatever they told the staff,, not to mention they had POA still, the nurse said there was nothing she do do to help me. The forth day after picking our daughter up from school, I went outside to get her violin out of my car and it was gone. So they had it relied. An hour later our phone service was canceled including his phone shut off. Finances, gone. His income from VA, and Air Force was what we lived on other then our hot dog cart we set up during summer months at festivals.

    Yeah, they took that to. We have a rent house also. It was in his na me, I never felt like It was necessary to add my name, he had it when we married. They boarded it up. Then took him to New Hampshire with them. I got a part time job right away just to keep utilities on and needed items daily. If so, how can I afford an attorney? Please, can anyone help my daughter and I get our lives back threw your opinions on this situation?

    Desprate for advice. Thank you…. As his spouse you bet you have rights. Talk to an attorney who is familiar with the laws in your state right away to find out what you need to do to assert your rights. Aftrr ten years of divorce my ex retired and owes me part of his retirement, he refuses to send me the paperwork. How can I get him to comply with court orders without spending more money on attorney fees?

    Have your calendar, notes, with dates and examples, and write those down. Your husband is not going to be a popular guy. As far as I know, VA benefits would only extend to widows who were married to the service member at the date of his death. Check with your VA benefit office to be sure — I know a lot about social security, but not much about VA benefits, which are different.

    What is the alimony rights for the state of Texas? I am married for 9 years. My husband changed bank accounts and moved out of the house, taking just his necessary things. We are putting the house on the market, also we have another home in Colorado, that he wants to keep it for him self. What are my rights? Look it up online. I know that alimony is not necessarily a state issue it may be just an as-needed. I know for instance, that NH is an at-fault state. I can sue my husband for adultery, abuse, and extreme cruelty. My alimony will take that into account, but more likely it will awarded to me in an amount needed to pay my bill.

    I am disabled with MS, which my husband knew before we were married. I need alimony, and he knew the situation before. SO I wlll receive alimony certainly, and it may just be for the rest of my life, since I will never get better, only worse. I love your site! Perfect for gold diggers who are not ambitious enough to make it on their own. Shameful and pathetic. Did I say shameful and pathetic? Well…I am the woman in the same boat as some of these men.

    I work hard.. My ex can work just chooses not to. He works under the table and is trying collect disability at the same time…The state found out about it about it and stopped paying him disability. He is now of coarse trying to get full disability. We are still married I filed 2 years ago but agreed to wait to keep in on my insurance so he can receive medical care. Now I am ready to finalize the divorce and he wants alimony. He left a good paying job 2 years before we seperated…Now he plays call of duty for 14 hours a day and you know…cannot possibly get an over the table real job. We have been married for 21 years.

    He was struggling and losing his house. An old flame came into the picture and after her coaxing him and waving retirement benifits in front of his face he finally married her. Problems started arising immediately and now he is stuck. I am trying to find out how long they have to be married before he would be entitled to any retirement benifits of hers here in the state of Arizona.

    Can anyone help me with that? In most states, retirement benefits earned during the marriage are marital property to be divided. But retirement benefits she earned before marriage would not be marital property, unless they have a prenuptial agreement that said otherwise. Married for ten years and about to be divorce my husband. Work for for five years because I came here from another Country. When you are of retirement age 62 or older you can qualify for divorced spouse benefits. Meanwhile, ask for alimony so that you can pay your expenses.

    I have been married for 10 years, my husband and I only lived together for 3 of those years. He chose not to work and live off of his disability check from the military. I own the house he lives in, he pays for basic utilities — the ones he is using in the house. What would you advise someone like me? Think about it everyone. Guys can do it to former spouses to and females can do it to their civilian husbands if in the military….. You women are a bunch of money grubbing leeches. You cut your hair and get fat.

    There us no benefit for a man to get married. In the long run, you will not win. Men are not lonely when they stay single, they have friends, and a different girl every night of the week. What do they need you for?? The only difference between a wife and a prostitute, is that the wife lies, and tells you she loves you. I am sorry that is all you have…lots of friends with their girlfriends or wives , and different girls every night.

    Having that special somene who reads your looks, who finishes your sentences.. A connection. With attitude like yours, no wonder there are so many people swearing off love. You were treating her like one! Men like you are better off single anyways. You probably spend lots of money when you take your flavor of the night out for dinner, drinks, dancing… hourly motel room , especially to flaunt your money or pretend you are rolling in the dough…Put in as much work as you do, to fight back lonliness, as you would into a REAL relationship, the relationship is more rewarding…but seriously, people like you should remain single.

    And, from what I understand the gist of your poetic speech, hookers are right up your alley. You know what I got for it? STOP being bitter. Go LOOK at yourself. Not EVEN for money! ONCE and I forgave him. Exactly men are stupid. Just pay a prostitute. You would not have any problems. You are pitiful, and certainly single. So you say that every woman on the face of the earth is a money grubbing leeches. Do you have a lot of money? Do you think the next generation of men will be worse that you are……….

    Imagine that, someone as sick as you are, raising our next generation…………. You see, there is no difference between a man or woman, they can all be just like you. If they are intelligent, they will NEVER be caught dead acting like you, and without any shadow of any doubt………. NO ONE wants to be the kind of person you are. You are useless. You are an idiot. I am a woman, I work 60 hours a week, come home cook, clean and take care my kids while my husband plays video games. You apparently married poorly and so did I. I am married since 7 years and separated, I am I am working for a Private company, my wife is well educated more then me but not willing to work.

    She is living with her parents are financially strong. I am planing for divorce her as she is not willing to come to me anymore. My question is….. Can she demand the alimony? Is honorable Court will take judgement on favor of her? Each state is different. Ive been married for over ten years to my husband however we only lived together a year after we got married, i left due to his illegal drug activity. He has since retired from his company, am I due any of his benefits? Yes, since you have been married for more than ten years, you qualify for Social Security spousal benefits on his record.

    Check with an attorney familiar with the laws of your state. My kids are sophomores in high school twins and my husband and I have decided to wait until they graduate to file for a divorce. We are friends and our divorce will be amicable. We are working on our settlement agreement and decided that he will assist me financially for a few years until I get on my feet. I have been a homemaker, stay at home mom with no skill and no training. I am in my mid 40s. I would like to go back to school.

    I would like to go into nursing. My question is regarding tuition. My husband said that he will help me. But should I get a student loan, make monthly payments or do both? Thank you. If your husband is willing to help with the tuition no matter how it is paid, then you will need to figure out which of your options will result in the lowest amount paid for your education: student loan or monthly payments.